Marshall Of Rock

Steel Panther Metalize ‘Dancing With The Stars’, talk their ‘ Rules of Rock’ and tell us what they would be made of if they were a drug (video)


Heavy Metal Legends Steel Panther were featured on Monday nights ‘rock’ episode of ABC’s ‘Dancing With the Stars.’ Vocalist Michael Starr and guitarist Satchel helped out Cheyl Burke and her partner William Levy get ready to dance to Twisted Sister’s ‘We’re Not Gonna Take It.’ Didn’t dig KISS doing the show, but Steel Panther were a good fit, they already do the ‘Tube Snake Boogie’. KISS wasn’t- they were beyond cheesy! I wish Steel Panther could have been the guest judges for the night uncensored. That would have been the best ‘Dancing’ episode ever!

Check out this shot of ‘NBA on TNT’ hosts Shaquille O’Neal, Charles Barkley, Ernie Johnson and Kenny Smith’s faces photoshopped onto the bodies of Steel Panther. Funny shit!

Michael Starr talked with The Houston Press ‘Chatter’ column before their gig tonight (Apr. 12) at the Houston House of Blues and touched on opening for Guns N’ Roses, Chad Kroeger of Nickelback’s coolness, their backstage setup, and what would Steel Panther be if they were a drug.

Chatter: You guys opened for Guns N’ Roses late last year. What was that like?

Michael Starr: The crew and everybody working for them were accommodating. I got to check out Axl’s dressing room onstage, and it was really neat. Come five o’clock, though, they shut down one side of the backstage of the arena, and that side is just for Axl.

I have never met Axl Rose, so I have no idea what he is like, but I watched them and they sounded great. They played forever.

Chatter: How did the GN’R crowd take you guys?

MS: At first they were freaking out, like “What the fuck is going on?” We go out in front of this crowd and they were fucking taken aback, and it took four songs before everyone realized what was going on. They were like, “What happened to Bret Michaels, he looks like he gained 20 pounds?!”

Chatter: Chad Kroeger sings on the new album’s “It Won’t Suck Itself.” What is he like?

Starr: We met up with him after a show in Vancouver at a strip club and hung out. He’s a super-cool, rad guy, and we went to his house after. He’s got like a 15,000-square-foot mansion on 20 acres of land, with a full-blown recording studio with a staff on call.

He has a full-fledged hockey rink inside his house, too. He has an assistant that rolls him joints, and there was a cook there cooking for us. We were there for almost two days.

Chatter: No one will believe you that Chad Kroeger is cool…, Batteries for Everything!

Starr: He’s the coolest guy in the library. He’s in the Nickelback world, but he wants to be in the Steel Panther world. But he can’t because he’s made his career in the Nickelback world.

Chatter: He could join Steel Panther. Like Nickelpanther, or Steelback…

Starr: If he joined Steel Panther then I would have to be in Nickelback, and I would not be stoked about that.

Chatter: Any tips for getting chicks off the bus at the end of the night?

Starr: The bus is really tricky, because if you pull a chick on the bus and you fuck her, and everything is killer and you are doing Panther Puffs [see below], the problem is getting rid of her. Sometimes you just have to drop them off at the gas station and just split. There was a girl in Houston, but I forget her name…

Chatter: What about the backstage area? How does that work?

Starr: We set up two dressing rooms for the band, one for the crew, and then two others: one for after-show passes, the “holding pen,” and one called the “escape room.” If you go to the after-show room and there are no girls in there you dig, you go into the escape room, and no one knows you are in there and it’s killer.

Chatter: Describe the Steel ­Panther experience…

Starr: The full-on experience of Steel Panther is not only ingesting the music through your ears, but it’s mostly seeing it. You have to remember, it’s not about how good you play. It’s about how good you look. It’s not about what is on the inside, it’s what’s on the outside that is important.

Chatter: If Steel Panther were a drug, what would it be made of?

Michael Starr: Special K, mixed with cocaine, and a hit of crack. And you have to smoke it. It would be called Panther Puffs. At the same time, though, you have to remember to be responsible when you do drugs.

Do them after work, on your lunch break or before work. If you are doing it in the bathroom, you probably have a problem. We are about having a fun, killer, awesome time that you will never forget.

Stix Zadinia and Lexxi Foxxx kicked down their ‘Rules of Rock’ with Gigwise UK on their recent tour of England. Find out how you too can be at the top of your Metal Game! Don’t worry UK Fanthers, the band will be back for headlining dates later this year!

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